Flash died yesterday. He was only 2 years of age. I found him lying at the bottom of his condo and knew instantly that he was gone; he never lies there.
I can't help but feel that it was my own fault. For the last two weeks I have been undergoing mock GCSE examinations, and for that reason I spent most of my out of school time revising. Therefore, the majority of the last 2 weeks of Flash's life was spent in his cage; he only got a snatched half hour of free-time here and there during the weekdays. I'm almost certain that, if it was an illness that took him from me, had I taken that extra time to allow him out for a run around I would have noticed any change in behaviour and maybe he'd still be here today.
I found him lying underneath the first shelf of his condo with his eyes open, still shining. The material that covered the shelf was scrunched up and out of place. It is this that makes me feel that perhaps he didn't die from an illness, but from falling from the shelf. This, at least, is a slight reassurance in that if this was the case, his passing must have been instant. A reassurance until the pang of guilt hits me; I could have prevented it if I'd SEWN the material to the shelf. The worst thing? I'd done that with the first piece of material, but as he'd never attempted to move it decided to use Velcro for the second piece so that I could pick it up and throw it in the washer every week. It seems that my selfish want for convience cost Flash his life.
Yesterday was going to be the day that I made it up to him. I'd planned it; he was going to spend the day running around and playing in the kitchen, and then in the evening after the Christmas decorations were up in the living room I was going to take Christmas themed photographs and put them up here, and then he'd feature on the front of Christmas cards along with Scamp and the foster guinea pigs. I remember looking at him at 1 o' clock on Sunday morning when I checked his hay and water before I went to bed, feeling awful for how he'd been cooped up for most of the week. And do you know what I told myself? I said 'Don't beat yourself up too much about it Spud, he'll still be here tomorrow and you can make it up to him'.
I'd just like to say, to any pet owners that have examinations looming or are finding themselves tied by work, don't allow anything to get in the way of giving your pets the attention that they deserve. Flash went from having 4 hours per weekday out of his cage to 30 minutes whenever I could manage. His last days must have been boring, lonely and miserable, and if I could turn back the clock I'd sacrifice any of my grades for more time with him. Work hard, guys, but remember the pet that will love you unconditionally regardless of everything else. They might not still be here tomorrow.
I know that none of you guys would ever make the mistakes that I did with Flash, but I'd like each of you to give your pets an extra hug before you go to bed tonight. They love you no matter what. So make sure they know that you love them just as much.
Sleep well Flash. You deserved better.
Posted:
Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:26 pm
littlelab Moderator
Joined: Jan 07, 2006 Posts: 2490 Age: 36 No.Of Pets: 5 Pet Types: 2 Dogslets and 3 Kittys
Hey firstly stop beating yourself up, i am really really sorry to hear about little flash he was adourable, but i although i dont know you personally, reading your post you are a very caring thoughtful girl who would never ever let anything preventable happen to one of her pets.
Just because you was studing for your exams and didnt have Flash out doesnt mean your are to blame, i am very sure you would have notice something was a miss if he had been ill.
Rember flash fondly and please dont blme yourself it doesnt help
When i lost my dog last March i blamed myself for months, it just makes your miserible nad you dont rember the nice memories,it doesnt bring them back sweetheart. REMEMBER NOT YOUR FAULT
Run free sweet bunny, enjoy rainbow bridge, there is lots of green fields to bounce around ____________ Love Denise, Ebony, Brodie, Eddie Jake, Chloe the cats ( Rosie, Pepsi, Libby and Misty) xxx
Run free amber
Posted:
Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:40 pm
littlelab Moderator
Joined: Jan 07, 2006 Posts: 2490 Age: 36 No.Of Pets: 5 Pet Types: 2 Dogslets and 3 Kittys
Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an
animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet
goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our
special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of
food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and
vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong
again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times
gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small
thing: they each miss someone very special, someone who was left
behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly
stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his
eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, he breaks from the group,
flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been
spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling
together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses
rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and
you look once more into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your
life, but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...
"Author Unknown" ____________ Natalie and Co xxx
Posted:
Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:42 pm
honeydlc TopDog
Joined: Dec 06, 2006 Posts: 642 Age: 26 No.Of Pets: 5 Pet Types: dogs, cats,amazon parrot
So sorry to hear about Flash, please don't feel guilty, it's so obvious from your words and photos that you loved him dearly, and I'm sure he knew it! Remember many people that have rabbits keep them in a tiny hutch at the bottom of the garden, you gave Flash a much better life than that and I'm sure he'd tell you not to feel guilty if he could!
Run free at the bridge sweet Flash XXXXX
Posted:
Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:28 am
Bonsai HouseTrained
Joined: Aug 01, 2006 Posts: 65 Age: 32 No.Of Pets: 7 Pet Types: Dogs, cats, tortoise
Just one look at Flash's wonderful cage let me know how much he was loved. Please dont feel guilty.
I know its hard. When my rabbit died recently i felt very guilty because i hadnt played with her enough. The thing was, i rescued her from being fed to a snake, and she was never happy with being touched. But i still felt i should of cuddled her loads more than i did.
Dont feel guilty, you had to study, and Flash would of known how loved he was .... he looked a very content little rabbit.
Posted:
Tue Dec 12, 2006 9:45 am
Beckyess Grooming Expert
Joined: Oct 20, 2006 Posts: 535 Age: 38 No.Of Pets: 4 Pet Types: dogs
Flash had more room and love and attention than many rabbits left cooped up outside in hutches who never see the light of day. You did everything possible. He could have had an inherited problem that resulted in his death, it is very unlikely that it was anything you did or didn't do.
He's running free and had a far better life than most rabbits.
Becky ____________ Love is a Posse of Poodles and Percy
Posted:
Tue Dec 12, 2006 10:24 am
bubbles3 Rescue Expert
Joined: Feb 22, 2006 Posts: 328 Age: 32 No.Of Pets: 7 Pet Types: dogs cat
Thank you for your kind words. The last few days have been tough; thinking about him brings me close to tears, and if I find myself thinking less frequently about what happened then I feel... guilty. Like I should be thinking about it all the time because, ultimately, I caused it. It's difficult to put it into words. I still haven't really accepted that he's died. I thought that maybe burying him would make it final, make me accept that he really is gone, but I still find myself waking up to the sound of one of the foster cavies jumping into the litterbox and thinking, just for a moment, that it's Flash.
I still believe that I could have prevented his death, had I given Flash the love and attention that he deserved. He certainly didn't deserve this.
Thank you once again. Your words helped me a great deal through the first couple of days without him.
Posted:
Sat Dec 16, 2006 2:02 pm
Beckyess Grooming Expert
Joined: Oct 20, 2006 Posts: 535 Age: 38 No.Of Pets: 4 Pet Types: dogs
Animals dont die because they aren't loved they die through neglect, something you cannot be accused of. It is a sad fact of life that we will outlive most if not all of our animals but as long as we know we gave them the best we could then we cannot blame ourselves.
Think of the good times with Flash and remember you loved him very much.
Becky ____________ Love is a Posse of Poodles and Percy
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