saw this on another pet forum thought u might appreciate!

sallyburdett

sorry if this has been posed before!

Dear Dogs,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note: Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not automatically stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the other end is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help either because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I'm very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

I'm also aware that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximise space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom.
If, by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for many years - canine attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture (that's why they call it "fur"niture.)

To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Dogs are better than kids... they eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends (unless the cat that
also lives here has a cat-nip addiction, but that won't kill him/her).
They don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest
fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars
for university - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children

amethystmyst

Oh I loved that it had me in stitches!!!! All the things the dog does are so try or our bundle of hair! Better known as Jackie!

Who is at this momment stinking of wet dog as the rolled in the lovely wet grass and didn't shake till she came back in !

and had covered my walls in wet black dog hair!

Oh well gotta love um!

momtoscuffy

very funny and true Very Happy

lovd it

pollaton

i have seen it before, but it made me laugh again. Very Happy

____________

shazino

CatSlave

LMAO!!!!! I've seen this in parts before and have printed out certain parts and attached to my front door!!!!

Hey at least I know my dogs ain't gonna try it on with my old man which is more than can be said for certain "friends"!!! hey my Sam makes no secrets about her love - kissing him in the throw of passion with me are questionable!!!!!! But she's a blonde!!!! (ok I should add so am I - just not quite as natural as her!!!!!)

sambo

Thats great lol i think i might print them off for my front door plaque Laughing

____________

catmad

Have seen this one before and love it!! Skippy said something in her post that's reminded me about something funny and I'm thinking about posting a topic on it but it may be a bit inappropriate.... Wink

Sally, love the pics of your little munchkin at the bottom of your post - tooooooo cute!!!!

sallyburdett

lol catmad!

thats my lil girl Mya - she turned 1 last monday, i cant believe she has grown up so quickly! - she is walking talking and eating all on her own! - now all she needs to do is learn to wipe her own bum! - lol Laughing

catmad

Yeah - the bum thing would be kinda useful wouldn't it!! LOL I don't have children of my own, but my best friend has an 11 month old who is just starting to walk, and who TRIES to eat on her own but makes a better job of feeding their cat her dinner (cat jumped up on her high chair and she happily fed him with her spoon LMAO LMAO LMAO!!!) They're at a lovely age now aren't they - developing real little personalities! Can't wait to have one of my own (am already 30) and we're planning to try in the next couple of years (gotta save for a wedding first!). Am definitely getting to that broody age now!!