my lovrely sasha x

AngelSashax

i really need help please.....
i had a lovely dog named sasha for 14 good years, she was a staffordshire bull cross.....yes i know she had a good age, but she had a lot of life still in her.
well on dec 28th 07 sasha had a fall in my house and her left side fell on my weridly shaped door step thing. ( id moped the floor) so i feel awful
now i took her the vets, and they checked her gums and temp etc, and said there was no signs of bleeding, maybe some muscule pain, a injection was given, she was fine,then about 2 weeks later, sasha began to shake her teeth, like chattering like she was cold, i took her back again and they said old dogs can do this, its not unknown.
then a week or so later sasha began to not want to eat, and not want to excerise,
i took her the vet and they told me she had a tumour on her spleen, which was bleeding into her belly, they give me to option to operate on sasha, cus they thought she was in with a good chance, on opening sasha, they found about 10 tumours, size of about a 50 pence peices's, but the main one was about the size of a tennis ball which was the one bleeding into her belly.
they told me there was no way to save my dog sasha, she would of started to bleed again after surgery, but my real problem is.... could the small fall of started this just over 3 weeks before? the vet who operated on my wonderful pet said no it couldnt, the fall would of just caused muscule pain, but i need to know if its my fault, and i need a honest answer....please help, kind regards barbara Crying or Very sad

littlelab

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

When we loose our furbabies we are ridden with guilt unless its a natural death, we often wonder could we have done something, is it our fault, but the short answer to that is No its not your fault, sometimes things happen that are beyond our control.

If it was a tumour on the spleen then it was already there, lurking in her body, you would never have know until she was in a lot more pain, this way although she fell and hurt herself she didn't have along period of pain which she could have ahd if the cancer had spread.

Cherish the memories you have of her, remember the good times, she was a ripe old age too, and obviously was very loved by you.

NOW I MUST GO
Send me to the Bridge I pray,
When I no longer run and play.
When my limbs can't bear my weight,
And dignity is stripped by fate.

Look into my eyes, you'll find,
I will let you know, it's time.
You must help me from this edge,
Now it's time, I make this pledge.

I leave you for the Bridge today,
Anew, I run, I bark, I play.
We shared a life of many things,
And to your heart my leaving brings,

The pain of loss, I feel it too,
But Master, know, this I must do.
I must leave first, to make the way,
For you to follow me some day.

Beyond the sunset, where all pain ends,
We'll meet again, the best of friends.
Just as I snuggled in your heart,
You're in mine too, we aren't apart.

I watch you from afar and pray,
It's time to heal, heal some each day.
Please dry those tears and smile for me,
And know at last, that I am free.

There is no pain or suffering here,
The sun shines brightly everywhere.
There isn't even one cross look,
It's not allowed here in His book.

No clouds of gray will gather here,
No storms will ever threaten.
We are at peace here,
And the Bridge is Heaven!

~ Author Unknown ~
____________
Natalie and Co xxx

AngelSashax

Many thanks for your answer, but im hurting so much,
my doctor has signed me off work,
i need to know and i dont think anyone could answer me........ that did me mopping the floor and her falling make her bleed inside???
iv heard that some dogs could live a long time with tumours on the spleen, maybe the fall just made it burst.
maybe if she hadnt of fallen, it wouldnt of burst.
the vet said its Very unlikely it was the fall,
i cant rest i really cant

many thanks for the poem, it was lovely xx

babs x

Asho_DirtyPoo

No one would know better than your vet. They are the experts on pet health, right? If he said it isn't your fault, and you can't believe him...there probably isn't anything anyone can say to make you believe it.

To be honest, we have no way of knowing...but even if it WAS from the fall - it was probably a good thing, as I think the other replyer said. Making the vet become aware of it right now, and ending her suffering...rather than her going on for another year or more in pain/discomfort every day - which she no doubt was having mildly with that many tumors, one being tennis ball size.

The cancer also likely would have spread and caused her great pain and suffering if she lived longer. This way, although it hurts to lose her now, it probably saved her a lot of pain and suffering of remaining alive with those tumors.

So even if it WAS your fault, which I don't think it was if the vet said it wasn't - it's nothing to feel badly about. It was what was meant to happen. If that fall hadn't have happened, another one would have. Maybe she would have stumbled on the stairs, gotten hit by a car...who knows? But it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't meant to be.

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Is there any sort of grief counsellor you could talk to to help you cope with what you're going through? Losing a loved one is always hard...

AngelSashax

thank you, your words are very helpful to me,
i do love sasha very much, i had her since i was 12 years old,
and i never wanted her suffer, i just hope she understands in her own way that i did love her and i didnt abandon her at the vets, i did go back to her before they operated on her, when she was waiting in the cage, to say say goodbye, but i didnt really think in my heart that she was going die, i thought they would of saved her, so i was telling her i will fetch you tomorrow and bring you home, and buy you a chicken just for you.
she hated it at the vets, and even though she was tired, she still found some energy to try get out the door, to me take her home.
then they rang me soon after at home with the outcome of her op. Sad

many thanks again

babs x

AngelSashax

thank you, your words are very helpful to me,
i do love sasha very much, i had her since i was 12 years old,
and i never wanted her suffer, i just hope she understands in her own way that i did love her and i didnt abandon her at the vets, i did go back to her before they operated on her, when she was waiting in the cage, to say say goodbye, but i didnt really think in my heart that she was going die, i thought they would of saved her, so i was telling her i will fetch you tomorrow and bring you home, and buy you a chicken just for you.
she hated it at the vets, and even though she was tired, she still found some energy to try get out the door, to me take her home.
then they rang me soon after at home with the outcome of her op. Sad

many thanks again

babs x

AngelSashax

sorry it wasnt working for me to save the message, so it repeated a few times on here Confused

babs x

Asho_DirtyPoo

She knows you loved her dearly. Trust me, she knows Smile

AngelSashax

i have got to go see a private grief counsellor cus there is a 8 week waiting list around here, i go see the private counsellor tuseday.
i have spoke to a lot of people, and your words seem to comfort me,
family, vet, doctor, friends, etc....... iv even rang vet help lines,
i know, i was mad at the time, its been a very bad week for me.
well i have got my 4 year old nephew today, so im hopeing that will take my mind of it a bit.
Question

p.s thank you asho x

barb xxx

AngelSashax

well i havnt had to bad of a day today, asho you have done me some good,
still crying a bit on and off,

but she was worth every tear, my lovely sasha xxxxxxxxxx

rest in peace sasha, the day i come meet you i will bring you that lovely chicken i promised.

love you always your one and only barb xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Smithdouglaswood

So sorry about your loss of Sasha, its really hard to come to terms with any loss but even harder when you blame yourself. Are there no grief counsellors through your vets that deal with pet loss? You gave Sasha a wonderful life by the sounds of it all and she will know how much you loved her, and definetly that it was not your fault.

Remember the good times, you never forget them, and give yourself time.

Best wishes
Angie and the gang

AngelSashax

many thanks angie, i dont think there is a grief counsellors to be honest cus the vet told me ask my doctor,
cus i was in such a state the vet spoke to me for half a hour on the phone and went though, why sasha was poorly and why he couldnt do much for her, and if he did save her she would of been very poorly, for a few days then she would of started to bleed again.
she was put to sleep on monday night at 11.40pm.
to be honest i still cant get my head around that she has gone.
i brought my house with my fella about 19 months ago, and i work full time, but on my 2 days off a week i would go fetch her and have her with me, but with her being a old dog, she didnt like being on her own in my house, but she got used to being with us when we were in the house,
so when i had to go back work she went back my mum and dads who are always at home,, she saw our house as a holiday inn, she did love it, cus she got so excited to come my home.
i wrapped my life , work and time around sasha.
you see when i left home, i didnt want her think i had left her, so thats why i did it that way
she was a massive part of my life. and its going take time as iv been told a massive number of times.
the first thing i think in the morning when i open my eyes is.........Sasha isnt here any more. and it rips me apart.
im so glad i found this web site, there is so many lovely people on here, that surely care about there pets.
i feel a bit lost at the moment tho, cus i havnt got a pet now in a way have i? Sad

thank you all again

babs x

clareabella

awww sorry for your loss Sad

You realy shouldn't blame yourself though, accidents happen all the time and had she not had the accident then the vet wouldnt of noticed the tumours. It is very clear that you loved your dog very much.

I think most people feel guilty when an animal dies, always wandering if they could of done something to have saved them. I'm sure your dog knows just how much you loved her and at least she is now of of pain and suffering.

Hang in there and i hope the days become easier for you, Lots of (((((HUGS)))).

Clare xx

P.s R.I.P Sasha xxxxxxxxxxxxx
____________

shadylady

awwwwwwww Rip sasha Crying or Very sad

, so sorry for your loss my thoughts are with you at this sorrowful time, and sasha will always be with you in your memories and your heart.
____________

AngelSashax

Thank you all for your kind words
iv had a very bad neally two weeks,
but im starting to get there slowly.
i miss sasha so much, she was my world.
im starting back work monday, and im hopeing this will help me.

kind regards barbara Pray